We have all heard the saying “agree to disagree,” but what happens when you can’t?
What happens when the thing that they seem to disagree on is what we know to be true?
We know God is real, loves us, and wants a relationship with everyone. And we also know that the wages of sin is death. We don’t want anyone to live a life without Jesus.
As ministry leaders, we live and do our daily work to point people to Jesus. However, a quick look on social media and the news will tell you that the trend is to walk away from the truth and even take our faith and break it down, question it, or belittle it.
So, how do we reach and serve a community that disagrees with us on something as big as God and His love?
When dealing in an increasingly divisive world, I think we need to look in, out, and up!
We know God is real, loves us, and wants a relationship with everyone.
Looking In
Looking in makes us examine our true feelings.
We must identify our biases, any thoughts of superiority, or thoughts of false confidence. We cannot lead anyone who disagrees with us by forcing them to agree. The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 3: 1-3, that we are a letter from Christ for all to see and read as we live.
The challenge is whether our ministry self and personal self both show the truth. Do we live in a way that is authentic and points people to Jesus?
I am not claiming that we can live a perfect life, but I am saying we need to examine our life to see if it is:
- Consistent
- Authentic
- Transparent
When we know what we believe, live what we believe, and speak what we believe, it becomes increasingly more appealing for others to listen to, follow, and trust.
How to Guard Yourself from Ministry Burnout
How to Guard Yourself from Ministry Burnout
How to Guard Yourself from Ministry Burnout
Looking Out
We must be honest. I want you to know I understand. Serving and leading people is challenging and can take a toll on us over the years. That toll can easily show up in our feelings, beliefs, or assumptions about the people we serve.
Those who always disagree or question statements of truth can wear us down. The enemy would love to discourage us, or even more, he would love to have us disengage.
He wins if he can get us to believe someone is too gone, wrong, complicated, or just too annoying.
I served in kids’ ministry for over ten years, and I used to say, “I love the kids, but it’s the parents that are difficult.” What wrong thinking! I was looking out at the parents who attended sporadically, were disengaged, threw their child’s paper away as they walked out the door, came late, left early, and always gave me pushback.
I looked at them and judged them without seeing their needs. And in this, I forgot that part of my ministry to the children included their families. I had to change my mindset drastically. They were not the enemy.
When dealing in an increasingly divisive world, I think we need to look in, out, and up!
Made in His Image
If we look out to see those hard people we serve as sons and daughters of God, made in His image, then we will treat them as brothers and sisters in Christ, not enemies.
I have seen this quote from Karen Purvis: “Underlying behaviors are needs,” and it has helped shape how I see those I serve.
- Argumentative – might need to be heard.
- Angry – could show a need for unconditional love.
- Disrespectful – this is usually a need to feel respected.
- Questioning – shows up as the need for clarity.
As shepherds, it is our job to find the need and to fill it. Please don’t get so focused on the 99 who may agree that you forget our job is to go after the lost sheep too.
Our goal when we find the sheep is not to force them to stay but to welcome them back with joy, acceptance, and care that they choose to stay.
“Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? 5 And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders 6 and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ 7 I tell you that in the same way, there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.”
Luke 15: 4-7 NIV
Look Up
Look to God! I know that I should have listed it as the first step, and though these are in no particular order, we need to look up and claim that we have done all we can do.
We have been witnesses with our lives; we have decided to go after the lost and see them as brothers and sisters, yet we still disagree. The disagreement is getting more expansive, and the list of things we disagree on gets longer daily.
If you and I sat down, we would find we disagree on something.
The agreement gap seems to widen more and more, but we would agree that we love God and understand our need for a Savior. We could both look up!
Start there, friends, and look up to God, to His salvation for everyone.
Agree on that, and then ask God what to do next.
Disagreement is a gift! It is a moment to connect, learn something from someone, reevaluate your stance, show unconditional love, and live a testimony of transparent authenticity.
Use any disagreement you face as a moment to prove your love.
Look in and examine your thoughts and feelings, look out and change how you see the opposition, and look up to ensure you focus on the right main thing. And then agree to love and serve those who disagree!
