As children’s ministry leaders, we have such a small amount of time to influence kids. If a child were to attend all 52 weeks in a year, stay for two 1.5-hour services each week, and attend a 1.5-hour midweek program during the fall and spring semesters, given those programs are 12 weeks each semester, the most time we would have to influence that child in a year would be 192 hours out of 8,736 hours.
That is only 2% of their time. Which means 98% of the time they might not have anyone influencing them toward Jesus. What in the world are we supposed to do about that?
Every person needs to be validated and valued.
The people who have the most influence on the kids in our ministry are, of course, their parents. So maybe the answer is to minister to and influence parents too.
“That’s a great idea, Kristi. But I have no idea how to do that!”
I hear you. Finding unique ways to engage and influence parents can be difficult. What works wonderfully in one church may not work at another. Each church’s culture is different, each congregation is different, every parent is different, and every child is different. So, finding solutions that work perfectly for everyone can be challenging.
But what I’m finding to be true after 20-years of leading children’s and family ministry is that every person needs to be validated and valued.
Validate and Value Parents
That’s been true in my own life. For most of my life, I found my value in the approval of others. I wanted to feel accepted or feel like I belonged. Or at least like I was not alone. Oh…you too?
That need for approval manifested in many areas of my life, one of which was my parenting.
During much of my parenting, I was determined to have children who were obedient, kind, and lovers of Jesus. That sounds noble, right? The problem, however, was that my motivation was about what others thought of me, not what was best and right for my kids.
Because I found my value in the approval of others, I needed my children to reflect what I thought would gain the approval of others. I also found that the areas I was least equipped in were the areas of parenting I struggled the most and felt the least qualified.
But once I was able to live fully in the identity that Jesus gives me, I have become better able to lead others for the right reasons. (And I dare say, with a much better outcome.)
What does this all have to do with ministering to parents? And how does ministering to parents, minister to their kids? I’m so glad you asked!
You likely have a fantastic curriculum in place, and you have all the volunteers you need (well…hopefully) to produce an amazing program on Sunday mornings that teaches kids the Bible. But that alone isn’t enough. We need to minister to parents as well.
Ready to help parents create an environment for spiritual growth?
Ready to help parents create an environment for spiritual growth?
Ready to help parents create an environment for spiritual growth?
1. Love Children
First, let me encourage you. If you are loving a child, welcoming them, or calling them by name, that alone is ministry to a parent.
To know that someone loves and adores their child and makes them feel known and valued is precious to a mama’s and daddy’s heart.
2. Get to Know Parents
Second, minister to parents by taking time to get to know them. You obviously can’t have an intimate relationship with every parent, but you can have close connection with many. You can take them to coffee and listen to their story. Just think—you may even find out the source of little Johnny’s struggles on Sunday mornings.
And although you can’t always fix problems for little Johnny (and neither can they), you can encourage them in trusting God and in their spiritual walk as you pray with and support them in different seasons.
It starts with us.
When a parent knows that you understand and they are not alone (and they are not going to be rejected because they shared their story with you), it gives them an incredible sense of value, encouragement and support. This is what Jesus did, and it will give them a better perspective from which to parent.
3. Invest Spiritually
Thirdly, minister to parents by finding unique ways to show them the importance that their own spiritual life has on impacting their child’s spiritual life. You can even use a child dedication class as a time to begin the conversation with parents about their role in the spiritual development of their children.
Give them a simple tool that helps them understand the unique needs (both spiritual and physical) of their child at specific ages or provide them with a children’s storybook Bible that they can begin reading to their child even while they are babies. God’s Word is a powerful tool that many parents don’t take advantage of. Create events that are fun for families to attend where you provide a meal or snack, and tools and opportunity for them to lead their children spiritually while they are at the event, with the goal of showing them that discipleship doesn’t have to be complicated.
4. Equip with Modeling
Finally, minister to parents by encouraging them that the greatest tool they have for leading their children to Christ is their own life. Modeling daily what it looks like to live a Christ-like life, both at church and at home, will be the most influential thing they will do.
I remember one time my son telling me how much impact it had on him that our lives were spiritually consistent, no matter whether we were at church, home, soccer fields, or elsewhere. They watch us way more than they listen to us!
…
If you minister to, pray for, encourage and invest in the parents in your ministry, kids will benefit. Parents have the ability to spiritually nurture their children in the everyday moments. It’s the way God designed it, as we read in Deuteronomy 6:4-7.
“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commands that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”
Do you see what that verse starts with? It doesn’t start with telling our kids what to do. It starts with us. Parents and the church community being so in love with God that our lives reflect Him in EVERY moment.
It’s in those moments that our kids see Him in us. It’s in those moments that we tell our kids what He has done for us. And that is how ministering to parents ministers to kids. Encourage parents through listening ears and supportive hearts. Encourage them in spiritual growth, love and welcome their children. These things minister to their hearts.
And these things will foster the natural overflow of Jesus that their children can’t help but experience.
