What do parents truly want and need from their church family? Read on to discover three realistic gifts you can share with families at your church to help them feel seen and loved by your church.
Each year, usually at Christmas, I enjoy receiving photos from families in my life. Kids and their grown-ups endure an hour or so of smiling and posing, so family friends can see happy faces on their refrigerators every day. It may require a bit of bribery, and it will demand patience, but the photographer eventually captures an ideal family moment.
What does partnering with parents realistically look like today?
But those keepsake photos don’t exactly show real life, do they? The family photographs, social media posts, and time spent together on Sundays only give children’s ministry leaders a glimpse of what life is like for the families they serve. You may wonder, what do parents truly want and need from your church family? Beyond the ideal, what does “partnering with parents” realistically look like today?
Spoiler alert: The answer may not involve another take-home page or church event. As the team at Group researched and developed a new resource called Team Family, we made a few groundbreaking discoveries. In today’s world with packed schedules and (perhaps) too much information at their fingertips, most parents aren’t looking for more content from their church family. Instead, today’s families want and need empathy, encouragement, and everyday faith.
Real vs. Ideal: What are Families Looking for?
Empathy
Daniel Pink, a New York Times bestselling author and business guru, explains empathy like this:
“Empathy is about standing in someone else’s shoes, feeling with his or her heart, seeing with his or her eyes. Not only is empathy hard to outsource and automate, but it makes the world a better place.”
Empathy makes your church a better place too! When God’s family members empathize, we prioritize listening skills and relationships over agendas and information sharing.
Empathy is a biblical idea too. Look at what Paul writes in Philippians 2:4: “Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.”
These words were written to early Christians who were figuring out how belief and trust in Jesus impacted everyday life and relationships. Sounds familiar, huh? Parents in your church just might be doing the same thing.
When church leaders empathize, our game plan for families is more likely to be relevant, doable, and in tune with how the Holy Spirit is already moving in their lives.
Realistically, what does empathy look like? Well, when we empathize, we might understand why attending church was just too much for a particular family last Sunday. When we step into their shoes, we understand why offering children’s programming or childcare during a small group for parents is such a worthwhile blessing. When we take time to listen, we understand what matters most to the families we serve, and we’ll adjust our family ministry game plans accordingly.
Empathy makes ministry leaders good faith-formation teammates for parents.
Encouragement
Another vital thing families need from their church is encouragement. When we encourage, we give support, confidence, or hope. It’s fun to note that a synonym for encourage is hearten.
Depending on the translation, you’ll find the words “take heart” several times throughout the Bible. In John 16:33, Jesus says “take heart” as He supports, encourages, and gives hope to His friends who’d be facing some tough stuff. Jesus says, “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”
Paul writes about encouragement too! Did you know that 16 of the 21 epistles in the Bible include commands to encourage one another? Those letters tell followers of Jesus to teach and preach and obey … but they also say to encourage. That’s why family ministry needs to be more than giving family take-home assignments. Let’s send home some encouragement too.
Empathy makes ministry leaders good faith-formation teammates for parents.
As the team at Group developed Team Family (Get a free sample!) we surveyed parents, asking what they wish their church would communicate to them. If you aren’t sure how to encourage parents in your church, perhaps you could start with what some parents told the team:
- “You’re doing a good job.”
- “It’s going to be OK.”
- “I’ve been there. You’re not alone.”
- “Your kids are awesome!”
- “You’re a good mom.”
Parents in your church want and need affirmation and encouragement. It will take intentionality, but you could try these things:
- Put a family’s name in your calendar each week so they’re on your mind.
- If you send kids birthday greetings, why not keep track of parents’ birthdays and send them a note or card too!
- Send a text or email with an encouraging message to all parents every other week.
Everyday Faith
Paul writes in Ephesians 5, “Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ.”
When He lived on earth, Jesus showed His followers how to incorporate faith into everyday life. He made faith connections as He and His friends walked and talked, ate together, and celebrated holidays and events. As ministry leaders and faith-formation teammates, let’s follow Jesus’ example and help families blend faith and everyday life too.
“Everyday” is a synonym for “ordinary“. But lest you confuse ordinary with boring, remember that simple, everyday activities are good for children and families. They provide structure, routine, and lots of room for fun! We want to help families grow everyday faith every day. We do that by encouraging parents to model everyday faith in everyday life.
May we remember that God is always at work in everyday family life. When we tune in to everyday faith, our discipleship efforts harmonize rather than clash with everyday family life.
Consider offering ideas to help parents model faith as they drive together, eat together, play together, and brush their teeth together. Little moments make a big difference. (See some summer ideas in the Rewind. Be Kind. Team Family PowerPak!)
God is always at work in everyday family life.
From Ideal to Real
Real-life faith in families requires a realistic approach to family ministry. Prioritizing empathy, encouragement, and growing everyday faith gives ministry leaders a fresh and helpful starting point.
Want to find out more about Team Family? Check out this overview video. Plus, find out how Ministering to Parents Ministers to Kids!
Ready to help parents create an environment for spiritual growth?
Ready to help parents create an environment for spiritual growth?
